Advice from a reformed cheater
Oh my goodness cheating, it’s a very heart wrenching topic and a lot of couples go through it every single day because a woman or man somewhere in the world finds out that their partner/spouse is cheating on them believe me it is not a wonderful feeling.
As a reformed cheater I was cheated on by the man I cheated on my partner with yes karma is a bitch right. Now this was my first time someone ever cheated on well that I know of. I was angry, you know I kept asking him you know how much I fought to be with you and what I gave up for our love let me tell you something when you partner cheats all that does not matter how you got to be because their burning lust and passion for the new toy it’s all they think about and your crying, whining, screaming and tantrums they fall on deaf ears.
In this relationship with let’s call him A it turned me into that woman who see in the movies who is very obsessive about what their man is doing when they are not with them yep I became her. I would wait for him to fall asleep so that I can take his phone and see if he spoke to her today and if there was evidence of the conversation I would wake him up and start a fight right there and then it did not matter that it was 1am.
So let’s get into what made me to cheat with A in the first place, well, I felt unappreciated, unnoticed, Mr C was always working rarely home and never took me out to restaurants, even when I begged he lets out and eat out maybe see a movie he was not interested so I got bored. A persuade me and I told him I was married and all. He didn’t care he loved me, he noticed, made me feel special and he would write me messages throughout the day telling me how beautiful I am and how he drove passed my work just to see me.He was this wonderful man and he knew what to say and you know what I finally gave in to the feeling of being desired and spoiled. A was a very attentive man he would notice little things like when I have new nail polish, new hair style etc., every woman wants a man like that so Mr C suspected that something was up with me. So one day while consumed by my love for A I came clean to Mr C and I told him I was leaving and I left I didn’t not want to hear anything I didn’t care that Mr C promised to be better and change I walked out.
Now that I left Mr C I didn’t have to sneak around anymore to be with A we were together, inseparable things were really good and I thought I found love. Until I found out that he was now sneaking around on me with an ex girlfriend.
This is advice from a reformed cheater the grass is not always greener on the other side and its usually just infatuation because you feel neglected by your partner. Cheating is never the best solution because it mostly happens when you are at your lowest and feeling unloved. Feeling unloved is never a good reason to cheat because at the end you will be the fool who left something not so broken, for something that looked like gold but it was really just a tin. If you are not happy, just walk away and avoid the drama that is so time consuming.
You were very brave to share this post and admit certain things. I’ve never cheated or been cheated on but I know human emotions can be so complex, and therefore I don’t judge anyone. I think it’s great that you’ve learnt from what’s happened. Thanks for sharing.
I have truly learned my lesson, thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment
Brave admission. I’ve never cheated, but I’ve been cheated on and these things are always more complicated than they first appear. But somethings you have to earn from experience and it sounds like you have. Good luck with the next relationship
Hi Mrs Tubbs
I have indeed and thank you
The grass is always greener, right? Hope you find your happiness. #twinklytuesday
Hi Musing Mumma
Yeah right, I have found my happiness. Thank you xoxo
Interesting post. Its not often we hear the female side of admissions
Thank you I appreciate it
It is very brave of you to share this story. I think there are many reasons why anyone male or female cheats on a partner, but at rhe end of the day it is a recipe for heartache. If someone deliberately chsses a married person, their motivations should be questioned.
Thanks for lonking up, Tracey xx #abitofeverything
Indeed but at that time you don’t even think about their motives but emotions are flying, thank you for visiting and commenting
Very interesting read and very brave of you to admit what you have done in the past. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on and it was awful – it was when I was a teenager and unfortunately I had trust issues for a long while after. Saying that, I do understand your reasons for cheating but I am glad you have learnt from it all. I’m sorry A ended up hurting you, hope all is good now 🙂 xx #abitofeverything
Thank you for your kind words I am much better now.
Hi Moipone…wow; what a turn of events? Yep; karma surely finds its way back. Wondering if this was a way to get it all straight in your head..if so, I hope it helped. A sad story, but I hope life has worked out in the right way for you. #abitofeverything
I was a mess after that it took me a year to even smile at a man but all is good know I am much happier and wiser .
Thank you for visiting and commenting
Well done for sharing this, a very honest piece! I always think if you cheat on a partner, its because you don’t want to be with them anymore, so you might as well just end it. I realise though that sometimes that is easier said than done 🙂 #showcaseTuesday
It was hard sharing but hopefully my experience will help someone make a better choice. Its easier said than done true but its something that should be done
Thank you for visiting
Yes, hopefully this post will help someone in this position 🙂
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
I hope so too
Thanks for visiting 🙂
Ashley - The Modern Belle
Thanks for sharing. I know that is really a tough subject. I had my own missteps in relationships past and agree that it is a symptom of a bigger problem. Sometimes those problems can be solved other times you realize that the person you are with isn’t your person. #abitofeverything
That’s so true indeed. Thank you for visiting and I appreciate your comment
The Blog Centre
Thank you for posting this very brave post in #ShowcaseTuesday
Thank yo for reading means a lot to me 🙂 🙂
Hi Moipone, it sounds like you learnt a very hard and painful lesson which is never nice. Like others have said, I think youre really brave for admitting your mistake so boldly. I really do hope you find love again soon, and that its the best yet. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Great to have you join us all the way from SA 🙂 Emily
Yes I learned the hard way and it stings for a long time. Thank you for such kind words and I am happy to have discovered #MarvMondays
Thank you for visiting and commenting 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have taken a lot of courage. Life sometimes isn’t a simple yes or no…the human emotions are just too complex and that can cloud judgement whether you are the cheater or being cheated on. Hope you find peace and love. #anythinggoes
It took a lot of deletes before I hit the publish button, thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for visiting
Thanks for this post. You really opened up and explained why people do it which I think is important.
Thank you for reading and I hope it will help people make wiser choice.
Wow, such an honest post – i think i held my breath the whole time i read your blog – i feel for what you had to go through but your advice at the end is beautiful and so right. I hope you find/have found happiness and love again x #justanotherlinky
I have found or finding happiness working things out with hubby one day at the time,thank you for visiting and commenting 🙂 🙂 🙂
Something Crunchy Mummy
Very brave and honest post. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment means a lot to me 🙂 🙂 🙂
Being cheated on is freaking horrible. You are so brave!
Moipone Tsoka- Islam
Yes it is and thank you ☺☺