How does a journey to self-discovery begin?
According to Wikipedia the term “journey of self-discovery” refers to a travel, pilgrimage, or series of events whereby a person attempts to determine how they feel, personally, about spiritual issues or priorities, rather than following the opinions of family, friends, neighbourhood or peer pressure. Wow is that not heavy well for me it is a bit heavy.
Lately I have been asking myself who am I and I honestly cannot determine the answer because I have always gone with the flow never really followed my heart to the fullest or must I say I am afraid of following my heart as I am always worried what will happen if I actually did.
There are a lot of things that I have always wanted to do, but didn’t like studying drama after high school but ended doing Hotel and Catering instead because my parents did not want to hear about acting.
How does one discover themselves I ask myself because my life is not currently fulfilling as I always start projects, but I never see them through as I easily get bored along the way, for instance, I bought photography equipment the camera and accessories even took a short course after I completed the course I have not actively taken photographs since.
I am sure there must be something seriously wrong with me it cannot be laziness, I have the desire to do something, but I don’t have the will to see it through. My life now is I work as a Receptionist Monday to Friday and over the weekend I am home with my daughter sometimes I don’t even leave the house like last weekend I didn’t go out until this Monday morning.
The bottom line is goals I had when I was just 17 years are still goals at 29 years , I believe what has held me back all these years is the fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of what if this and that.
My to do list which I hope I will follow:
Have a good day everyday (unless I am sick)
Stop over thinking things
Smile more and stress less
Take life as it comes
Let go of things and people who do not bring joy in my life
See life through my daughter’s eyes (carefree and happy)
Go back to listening to music and dancing in my underwear
Learn to meditate
Stop waiting for people to make me happy, make myself happy
Embrace my tough childhood by not letting it define me