My Life

Suicide is not the answer

19/02/2016 /

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Suicide horror for poor student this headline brought back memories buried deep in my mind and I must say suicide is not the answer even when things are so dark to the point of no hope. I have been there you know that pitch black bottomless pit where everything got worse each day.

There was a time when I tried to commit suicide and my mother found me and she told me not to make my enemies happy. I just could not take it anymore, I was my father’s punching bag never understood why he hated me, but he had his own demons, I realized by him abusing my mother and my siblings it was to make himself feel better about himself.

I didn’t not grow up in a happy home, there was a time when I had only one short and T-shirt nothing else at night I would wash them and hang them for the next day it was tough and not because we were poor, but because my father was a people pleaser, he took money and spent on friends and women, money I slaved away making selling in our shop every day before and after school.

I remember going to school with only transport money, nothing to eat, try learning with an empty stomach, it’s not easy and I got my university entrance in materials and I could not fulfill my dreams of attending Wits University because there was no money things were not going well for me, finally got to college and the last year was the hardest not having money to buy text books even to make a photocopy so I had to write the notes out and my results dropped that year but I did not give.Hope of having a better, richer life kept me going so please find your hope and keep going, I know life can be hard and I have been there on that road of I cannot do this anymore.

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I could have easily succeeded with my suicide attempt and could have easily become a street kid by running away from that horrific home but hope kept me going. I know it’s not easy and didn’t have an option to choose the family, we are born in but think twice, even thrice before throwing in the towel because you have no idea what the future has in store for you.

I still struggle with depression, there are times when that lonely, cold and dark feeling comes back and it is hard to shake off, but I always find something positive in my life to pull me through from the darkness to the light.

Life with Baby Kicks
http://viewfrominhere.com/waywow-linkup-14-new-rules-all-posts-welcome/

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A South African bloggers that enjoys sharing her experiences whether about a product or good/bad customer service. I started Ferocious Haven at the end of 2014 , now Life and Mo. I write about beauty products, product reviews , parenting journey and challenges and life and achieving personal finance.

26 Comments

  • Modern Zulu Mom

    19/02/2016 at 10:21 am Reply

    *teary* – you are so strong Poine. Unfortunately we cant choose our parents/childhoods and no child should ever have to go through this experience, but look at you now! A wholesome, loving mother to your little girl. In time, you will learn to forgive.

    • Moipone Islam

      19/02/2016 at 10:38 am Reply

      Hi

      Thank you for your kind and uplifting words, we surely don’t get the option to choose, that is why it saddens me when such things happen because I understand their fight.

      Thank you for visiting 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Moipone Islam

      19/02/2016 at 3:44 pm Reply

      Hi Chev

      Thank you for your kinds words and glad you got through to the other end of that path too. Hope is all we need to survive

      Thank you for visiting 🙂 🙂

  • Michelle

    19/02/2016 at 2:51 pm Reply

    I’ve been there myself. I had a rough childhood too and was also abused by my father (among several others) and have battled depression my whole life. I reached a few low-points in my life where I either thought about suicide or attempted it. It took a long time and a lot of intense therapy but I’m finally free of those demons. I still get in my depressed moods every now and then but I now know how to handle myself when I get in that place. You are so right! You don’t know what the future holds so throwing in the towel now and giving up is letting your enemies win. You’ve written a very inspiring post! I’ll be sure to share this on all of my social media! #effitfriday

    • Moipone Islam

      19/02/2016 at 3:42 pm Reply

      Hi Michelle

      Indeed once you learn to handle the demons they that occasion comes, you can easily pass through it without falling apart.
      Thank you for sharing your journey and visiting it really means a lot to me.

      I appreciate the love 🙂 🙂 🙂 and hope suicide somewhere is prevented

  • Iveth (fortheloveto.com)

    21/02/2016 at 2:00 am Reply

    This is one of the bravest post I have read… you are strong and god keep you here for this reason… to teach us all that take short cut on your road is not always the best road…
    Thank you so much for sharing…
    big hugs …

    #Alittlebitofeverything

  • laura dove

    22/02/2016 at 11:10 am Reply

    I have been there also and now know that no matter how hard life gets, suicide is never the answer. I look at everything I have since achieved and the beautiful family I have created and think that there was a time when had I been successful in my aims, none of this would ever have happened. Thanks for sharing. #MarvMondays

    • Moipone Islam

      22/02/2016 at 12:11 pm Reply

      Hi Laura

      That is so beautiful and encouraging, my daughter is also my saving grace at this point she has changed my life so much and I a thankful for her because if she was not here I dont know where I would.

      Family is everything , Thank you so much for reading and leaving such an amazing comment it made me smile 🙂

  • Kaye

    22/02/2016 at 5:02 pm Reply

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that but you’re right, suicide is not the answer. I’m so glad you got through it and used your experience for a better life. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  • Nikki Frank-Hamilton

    24/02/2016 at 2:35 am Reply

    You are right, so right. And I want to give you a standing ovation and hug you at the same time. I am so sorry that you had to go through this, and feel this and deal with someone else’s issues in order to become you. But you did it. You are strong, and brave and inspiring. Both my children are suffering from depression and anxiety and they are fighting suicidal thoughts, I wish that I could fight it for them. And I wish I could have fought for that little girl you were. But you fought for her, you did it. Amazing!

    • Moipone Islam

      24/02/2016 at 7:34 am Reply

      Hi Nikki

      Thank you so much for your loving words, I hope your children overcome this because it is really a dark place to be in and its living on the edge of a cliff very dangerous they are so lucky to have you in their corner.

      Thank you for visiting and sharing your journey with your children they will get there with your love 🙂

  • Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks

    25/02/2016 at 1:37 pm Reply

    While I haven’t walked in your shoes I applaud you in sharing your journey. So much is taboo, to even mention suicide or a suicide attempt is often brushed off but should be shared. Should be discussed and should be brought to the front of peoples minds to make it easier to ask for help. Hope and help are the answers. Thank you for sharing with #effitfriday

    • Moipone Islam

      26/02/2016 at 5:52 am Reply

      Hi Laura

      That is so true it is to taboo and it happens everyday or someone thinks about taking their life because cannot or will not accept it when you I am depressed.

      Thank you for reading

  • Lebogang Xolo

    29/02/2016 at 5:06 pm Reply

    Oh mommy, just reading this now. You are such a brave human being. I have had to deal with depression after the birth of my son. It is so hard to just dust off. Call, scream, shout if you need a friend, I’m right here. xoxo

    • Moipone Islam

      02/03/2016 at 10:06 am Reply

      Hi Lebo

      Depression does not go away it stays hidden and something will trigger it but the best part it once you know how to deal with it you can recognize the symptoms. thank you I will hala at you when I need a friend I have a few of those in my life.

      Thank you for reading 😉

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