Being a Mom

The Sex Talk Struggle for Black Parents

The Sex Talk Struggle for Black Parents

I say the sex talk struggle for black parents because I will be addressing this from my experience and from what I have seen in the black communities and what I have heard from the parents.

Earlier this week I was on the line to take a taxi to work and I realised that even in this day and age black parents do not talk to their children about sex,condoms and contraception.

This other lady said that one of her neighbours children is doing life orientation in action and disrespecting his mother. I said that it is because you don’t have the talk with us about sex and explain that if you do this and that you will get pregnant and or get a girl pregnant.

Their answer was that is how it is and it’s how they were raised.

This really got me thinking if our own parents do not talk to us about such important things the rate of teenage pregnancy still go up and number of dropouts will also rise.

How will this change us escape poverty because come on, let’s face it, not everyone is gifted to be a brilliant business entrepreneur without proper education.

So parents, they are setting us up for failure, and they expect teenagers not to be sexual active.

My parents never spoke to me about sex and contraceptives,I didn’t even know what was a morning after pill until after I had my daughter that is at the age of 24 years old.

Our black parents need to talk to us more and be more open with us about such topics not wait for the schools to teach us about sex.Then lack of information  leads to experimentation and most of the time teenage pregnancy.

I am not saying that other races do not have teenager pregnancy issues like in the black communities.We need to educate our children about pregnancy, HIV/Aids risks, condoms and contraceptive.

Prevention is better than cure remember and stop making sex Taboo subject and stop thinking that if you talk to them about sex they will go out and have.

I really hope that with time the sex talk struggle for black parents will improve for the better.

I am interested to know how does the sex and contraceptive talk differ with every race?

A South African bloggers that enjoys sharing her experiences whether about a product or good/bad customer service. I started Ferocious Haven at the end of 2014 , now Life and Mo. I write about beauty products, product reviews , parenting journey and challenges and life and achieving personal finance.


  • Simon (Man vs. Pink)

    Our daughter is only 4, but we have already started talking to her about sex since she was 3. I don’t know how you avoid it to be honest, unless you lie to them about how babies get in mummies bellies!

    The talk will widen to contraception,and the idea of sex for pleasure not reproduction (tbh, they’ve already been mentioned).

    As you asked but I don’t see it as relevant to how I framed the talk, I’m Asian of Indo-Caribbean descent and my wife is a white New Zealander.


    • Moipone Tsoka- Islam

      Hi Simon

      That is so interesting I also believe be that the more open you are the better and I have talked to my daughter too I told her the truth not the airplane drops the baby at the hospital and then go collect her/him 🙂 🙂 🙂

      Thank you for your input 🙂 🙂

  • Lutheranliar

    Hi there! So glad to have met you on #weekendblogshare As the mother of a 25-year-old, I have faced these issues myself. When she was only 9 or 10, she asked ‘how do the babies get IN the mommy’s tummy?’ Which is indeed a tough one. I used humor to defuse the situation and answer her question at the same time. If you are interested, you can see our conversation here:

  • Tianna

    I’m not a parent so I can only imagine how hard it is to raise kids and equip them with all they need in life. My mom was always very open about it, but then she was also distant. I think it can only be a struggle to do things ” right” and it’s different for every child. I think it’s wonderful that you’re talking about this and helping the issues find solutions 🙂

    • Moipone Tsoka- Islam

      Hi Tianna it is really hard on deciding how much is too much information but at the end of the day, the truth is always best.

      Thank you for stepping by and sharing how the sex talk was between your mom and yourself 🙂 🙂

  • Charlene

    I do think this can be an issue in the black community. I used to work with teenage mothers and worked with many women that became mothers out of ignorance. I’m lucky my parents were really open as they both had negative experiences of sex education – my dad was beaten as a boy for asking what was happening when he saw a goat giving birth! #MarvMondays

  • Mudpie Fridays

    I’ve just recently had a second child which sparked all sorts of conversations with my 4 year old about how Kipper got in mummy’s tummy and how he came out again. I didn’t lie! It was s bit of s taboo in our household when I was growing up. I’m going to make sure it’s not in ours! Popping by from #MarvMondays xx

  • Kaye

    My parents never broached it with me, I think I Learnt from friends and sex education! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

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