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What is your deal breaker in a Marriage?

04/12/2015 /

Marriage-DealBreaker

I am asking this because I had some amazing and shocking stories while travelling from work in a taxi I was so shocked. What is my deal breaker in my marriage would be physical abuse that is something I seriously cannot forgive, and move past and cheating even though I am a reformed cheater I might sound like a hypocrite, but I might or might not forgive my husband if he ever cheated on me the bottom line is I am not the forgiving type of person I try.

So these ladies they were talking about their marriage and they were adamant that they will not leave their marriages and their houses if their husbands beat them up or cheat. Let me call the ladies, Mary and Joyce.

Mary she has a bump on her forehead, she said her husband beat her with the bottom of the gun and she didn’t leave, she was just angry for a few days and life went on as she will never leave her house for that the only time she will leave is in a coffin. I was like what the hell with the bottom of the gun well then again its none of my business.

With Joyce she is not going to leave her house no matter what her husband does as she will not walk out on her achievements, like her house she worked hard for, for a woman who will just come in with a further duster and has no clue how the house became what is today and she swears that she will also leave her house in a coffin too.
They fall under the generation of tolerance and endurance, they work on their marriages and do not just leave so I would is it the fear or starting over or what is behind their stay in an abusive relationship filled with infidelity.

What is your deal breaker in a marriage?

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A South African bloggers that enjoys sharing her experiences whether about a product or good/bad customer service. I started Ferocious Haven at the end of 2014 , now Life and Mo. I write about beauty products, product reviews , parenting journey and challenges and life and achieving personal finance.

25 Comments

  • Michelle

    07/12/2015 at 5:01 am Reply

    Are these older women? Maybe it’s their generation. The older generations don’t believe in divorce. Many religions don’t believe in divorce either but most women today who don’t leave a domestic violence relationship is usually out of fear. They are afraid of starting over but more importantly, they are afraid the husband will just find them anyway and kill them so they choose the lesser of the two evils. Being afraid to start over comes from the mental abuse the women suffer. Most likely the husbands are the breadwinners and have told the wives that they would have nothing, be nothing if not for them. As for my deal breaker, abuse is one of them but I left my marriage three years ago and my deal breaker was a multitude of different things that happened over the course of our marriage. Cheating and abuse are at the top of my list though. Visiting from #anythinggoes

    • Moipone Islam

      07/12/2015 at 6:01 am Reply

      Hi Michelle

      Yes they are the older generation fear is a horrible thing I must say. Its sad to see women trapped in horrible marriages or relationships

      Thank you for giving your insightful view 🙂

  • Charlotte

    07/12/2015 at 9:17 am Reply

    It’s interesting because there is a fine line between fixing what is broken and making it work and doing what’s best. I don’t think our marriage has a deal breaker either but then I cannot imagine my husband owning a gun let alone hitting me with it. If he ever did he would struggle to walk again but domestic violence aside I would like to think we would try and work through anything! “Mary and Joyce” sound like an interesting pair! Thanks for sharing #AnythingGoes

  • jeremy@thirstydaddy

    07/12/2015 at 1:31 pm Reply

    I’ve seen several marriages break up in the past month that really surprised me. My daughter is 4 and I can’t imagine only seeing her 1/2 the time. The truth is that there is very little at this point, besides something that endangers my child, either physically or mentally, that would I wouldn’t find a way to get over.

  • Pen

    07/12/2015 at 10:34 pm Reply

    Blimey. I have to say I find it a bit scary that anyone would put themselves through that. There are always a variety of reasons though…

    #AnythingGoes

  • wendy

    08/12/2015 at 8:52 am Reply

    It worries me that these women would stay in an abusive relationship just so they don’t loose their house. You probably didn’t get the whole story but it is still scary to think that this woman would stay with someone who hit her in the face with a gun. I don’t think I could forgive that. I am not sure i could forgive cheating either. If my husband was an abusive/cheat (lucky for me he’s not) I would like to think I would be brave enough to leave him and start again, with a new house if need be. Interesting post xx #TwinklyTuesday

    • Moipone Islam

      08/12/2015 at 10:28 am Reply

      Hi Wendy

      I asked the lady who was hit with a gun if she was serious and she said yes an she didn’t even open a case against the husband . only the brave walk away and start over you will amazed how many women are in abusive relationship PR maybe they don’t see it that way

      Thank you for visiting 🙂

  • All about a Mummy

    08/12/2015 at 9:45 am Reply

    I’m not sure there is a definitive deal breaker in our marriage apart from putting the kids in danger. I probably wouldn’t put up with abuse or cheating but who knows – only those who have experienced it can actually say how they would react. #twinklytuesdays

    • Moipone Islam

      08/12/2015 at 10:31 am Reply

      Hi All about a Mummy

      That is true until you are in a situation there is no saying what we will do but if it ever involved my child then there is no thinking twice or working on it period

      Thank you for vising 🙂

  • Robyn

    08/12/2015 at 10:23 pm Reply

    You’re right, it is really shocking to hear about situations like this. I guess we’re all adults and we all have a choice about what we put up with. I’d like to think I wouldn’t put up with physical violence in a marriage but I don’t know what that fear is like, so couldn’t say. You’ve got me thinking now! #abitofeverything

  • Anna Brophy

    09/12/2015 at 12:27 am Reply

    For real??? Wow. I must live a sheltered life, and I have not been exposed to this, but how horrific to live with this fear of abuse. Sorry, but he hits me? I’m gone. #abitofeverything

    • Moipone Islam

      09/12/2015 at 8:30 am Reply

      Hi Anna
      Yes things like these are happening and what is more scary is seeing women stay in a relationship even when you see that next time the abuser will kill her :-(.

      Thank you for visiting

  • El

    10/12/2015 at 10:23 pm Reply

    I would leave with my children, if anyone of them is in danger! There would be no second thoughts. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking post with #abitofeverything

  • Kaye

    12/12/2015 at 7:42 pm Reply

    Wow, how terrifying. My partner and I aren’t married but we have been together for a long time. My dealbreaker would definitely be abuse and cheating, thugh of course it’s a difficult subject to think about when it actually hasn’t happened. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • Moipone Islam

      14/12/2015 at 4:30 pm Reply

      Hi Kaye

      Yes we don’t think about until we are I the situation its really horrifying that woman tolerate such from their partners

      Thank you for visiting Xoxo:-)

  • Random Musings

    13/12/2015 at 4:09 pm Reply

    I am a firm believer that when you make a commitment, you try to work through your problems and fix them together, However, I draw the line at abuse (physical or mental from either partner), and cheating. Once either of those have taken place, the trust is gone and without trust there is nothing.
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

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